How To Navigate Difficult Conversations With Children Without Breaking Their Spirit
- Pro Nannies
- Jun 27
- 2 min read
Let’s face it, some conversations feel hard. Whether it’s talking to children about death, racism, divorce, difference, or injustice, it’s tempting to shield them or smooth things over. But at Pro Nannies, we believe in nurturing emotionally intelligent, socially aware children and that starts with honest, age-appropriate conversations.
Why It Matters
Children are observant. They hear what’s whispered, they notice when people are treated unfairly, and they feel tension in the room. Avoiding the ‘hard stuff’ doesn’t protect them, it confuses them. Instead, these moments are rich opportunities to build trust and resilience.
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that children as young as three can begin to notice racial differences, and by age five, they may already internalise societal biases. The goal isn’t to burden them, it’s to equip them.
When & How to Start Conversations
The answer is simple: start now and keep it going. Difficult conversations aren’t one-off ‘talks’, they’re ongoing dialogues. The more often you engage with openness and curiosity, the more emotionally safe and secure a child feels.
Key Strategies for Meaningful Dialogue:
Use Storybooks as Bridges
Books are powerful tools. Stories allow children to explore complex themes in a safe and imaginative way. A couple of our favourites:
The Proudest Blue by Ibtihaj Muhammad
A Kids Book About Racism by Jelani Memory
Name Your Feelings
Children learn how to process emotions by watching adults do it. If you’re sad, confused, or unsure how to explain something, say that. Vulnerability builds connection.
Use Simple, Clear Language
Avoid euphemisms or over-explaining. If something is unfair, say so. If someone was unkind because of how another person looks, say that it’s wrong and talk about kindness.
Make Room for Their Feelings
Children might not respond how you expect and that’s okay. Some will cry. Others will ask wild, off-topic questions. Stay calm, stay open, and don’t rush them.
Circle Back
Follow up. The conversation doesn’t end when the topic changes. Revisit it later. Check in on how they’re feeling. Let them know you’re always there to talk.
The goal isn’t to burden them, it’s to equip them.
The Role of Nannies and Childcare Professionals
As nannies, we often witness these tender moments up close — the questions at bath time, the car-ride confessions, the quiet reflections during play. We hold space not just for the day-to-day, but for the big stuff, too.
A professional Nanny is prepared for these moments. It’s not just about safeguarding bodies, it’s about safeguarding hearts, minds, and identities.
Being “professional” isn’t just about knowing what to do. It’s about how you do it. With empathy. With intention. And with a willingness to keep learning.
Let’s be the kind of adults children can trust, not just when things are easy, but when things are hard.
Recommended Resources:
NSPCC Learning - Anti-racism and cultural awareness in safeguarding
A key resource for understanding how cultural identity and unconscious bias can affect child safeguarding practices. nspcc.org.uk
The Black Nursery Manager - Diversity and Inclusion in Early Years
Founded by award-winning EY professional Liz Pemberton, this platform offers resources focused on anti-racism in early years education. theblacknurserymanager.com
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